So, private lessons are perhaps the coolest thing ever. Easily worth the $55 an hour, 1 lesson a week. I might even start competing. However, I will be having a cotillion or open showing of sorts near the end of the school year, if anyone is interested. So, now I REALLY have no time and no money. But I'm happy. AT least while dancing. Woohooo!

PS. I also somehow made it into the Scheubert symphony, which is playing in June. Everyone should totally come see it. Because it will be cool. Yeah...

Wow, it's been a long time.

I guess, all I can say is that I, and what seems to be the rest of the male population, went through (or is still going through) a state of "twitterpation" (see Bambi, if you do not know the definition).

I seem to have regained a modicum of control over myself, and life has started to return to normalcy. Work piles up as usual, I get done what I can, wash rinse repeat.

However, despite the growing mountain of work and the dissipating feeling of "head over heels," I (and it seems everyone else) can't stop talking or thinking about issues with the opposite sex.

However, tommorow I have dance lessons! After seeing "Take The Lead," which I highly suggest, I found the motivation to get real, honest-to-god private dance lessons! I'm pumped!

So, Spring Break. The great adventure.

Yeah right.

So far all it's been is doctors appointments and chatter with the parents.

I really want to go do something crazy with friends. Something that gets the blood pumping. Chances of that seem pretty slim. I guess that's the downside of living with fellow nerds. Nobody has a sense of adventure. Everyone is content to spend their time doing extra work, or getting other chores out of the way.

They don't realize that they'll spend the rest of their lives doing what others expect of them. Now is the time to go do something crazy. It's sad, how I feel this rare, wonderful time slipping away from me.

Even though I'm up in PDX and surrounded by family (and even some friends), I can't help but feel...well, there's a better word for it out there, but I feel embalmed. Cold, alone, and ultimately lifeless.

This is spring, damnit. It shouldn't be this way!

Chaulk it all up to girl consternation, I guess.

So, Clay and I were coming home from the "Say Hello Wave Goodbye" Nu-Wave extravaganza at the Bijou, when we passed the dorms and I saw something that made me smile.

It was about 2 a.m., and Walton complex was a faded shade of flourescent blue with a black stripe running through the middle, lengthwise.

The windows of the 1st and 3rd floors, both men's floors, were faintly lit by active computer screens. They were obviously gaming or looking at copious ammounts of porn. The 2nd floor (women's floors) were all dark. The women, it seemed, had the sense to sleep.

Clay and I looked at each other and laughed the whole way home. I love geeks.

For the past few days I have been working on an article for the Oregon Daily Emerald. The article is about the HALO for Hope tournament. It's a tourney designed to raise money for the Starlight Starbright foundation. They try to help seriously and terminally-ill children be happy.

Those last two words have honestly changed my life.

Look at it this way. These children have no "social utility," and in all honesty, many will die before puberty. They create nothing. They contribute nothing. They place a large monetary and technological drain on the economy. If humanity really is evil, or at least soulless (as I have postulated), these children would have been aborted, abandoned or executed long before they came to their state.

But they weren't.

People are, as we speak, striving and sacrificing for nothing more than these childrens' happiness; to an end that has little to no possible financial gain. Knowing that these children will die before thier time, understanding the worldly hopelessness of thier cause, the Starlight Starbright volunteers and donors STILL, nonetheless work to better the lives of these children.

Like I said, I once took a dim view of humanity. However, these people's incredible nobility, their unthinking self-sacrifice for nothing more than a dying child's happiness has proven me wrong. Whatever inherent goodness that is in humanity lies within these people.

So, in the words of my dad, I'm free, white and 21. Life is pretty good. Except for my birthday party.

I think it dissolved a small part of my soul.

Everything was fine. I was pacing myself pretty well, having a good time, y'know, the usual birthday bar-hopping. I even beat Jom at drinking an Adios MotherF*cker. Then, we ran in to a bunch of Sean's friends. This one guy from the Commentator whose name I can't remember bought me a double shot of whiskey. Now for those of you who don't know, whiskey is my doom. Throw me anything and I'll drink it like a champ. Except whiskey. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the night hunched over my toilet or shivering on the floor of my bathroom.

On the bright side, I woke up at 8 a.m. with no hangover. I feel like I've been punched in the gut...alot...but otherwise I'm none the worse for wear. What I wouldn't do for a bowl of chicken broth right now...

Quote of the Evening (To Tim, my twin): You may have come first, but I'm an improvement!

Gah! I feel the call of World of Warcraft!

Must....
Fight...
Dark Side...

By the way, as I wage an epic internal battle for my very soul, everyone should check out my guest commentary in the Emerald today! I really can't believe they printed it. I tore apart one of the conservative editorialists. I know my party is lost to me, but I have to at least put up a fight...let them know they haven't totally wiped the good Republicans out!

Damn, it doesn't take much to take the wind out of my sails. And I startedthe day in such a good mood...

Women, the alpha and the omega of male existance...

L'audace, l'audace...toujours l'audace! Today is a day for doing things and living life!

If I were a Dungeons and Dragons character, I'd be a Mage: Public Relationist. I love this stuff, writing press releases, crisis management, it all rocks.

And I resisted giving in to my World of Warcraft addiction. I remain free!